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The Song​-​Poem Store Volume 22

by The Famous Sandhogs

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1.
Quality Time in the Carman Trailer Park 01:44
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Sunday afternoon Manitoba February Watching curling With Mom and Dad Just another Typical Manitoba February Sunday With Mom and Dad Late February Watching curling Sunday afternoon With Mom and Dad Sunday afternoon Manitoba February Watching curling With Mom and Dad
2.
Palms in the Dirt 02:05
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Throw them palms Throw them in the dirt I’ll ride this steed to the ends of the earth I got no money so I’m riding an ass My steed’s a donkey Do you have to ask? Swing open them gates Get out of my way I’m here for deliverance Hell’s on its way! Palms in the dirt You better slim down For the eye of the needle I got a six foot frame And skinny as a weasel Throw off your rags Climb out of your cave Or I’ll send you back And you won’t be saved Palms in the dirt My kingdom came Your kingdom cum Get your mind out of the gutter And I’ll do the same Don’t talk about Martha Or her sister, Sue Don’t talk about Mary Cuz I like her too Swing open them gates Get out of my way I’m here for deliverance Hell’s on its way! Palms in the dirt
3.
There was a room that was full of like eight mimics (and a bunch of greater mimics) 01:42
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There was a room that was full of like eight mimics and a bunch of like um greater mimics running around. It sucked. Like I did well on it but I was like damn there's a lot of fucking bitches in this place. Um killed 'em all. There was a room to the right that was inaccessible no matter how I tried. I was like Fuck it, I don't give a shit. There was like no panel to hack or anything. It was just like a door. And I was like K not gonna bother with it. Fuck it. Now later on I realize what I was supposed to do- but it's alright. I was supposed to drop down from the room above it and open it from the inside. But, whatever, it's fine.
4.
My Aortic Valve Named Dave 02:47
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I used to feel angry All the freaking time I was pretty good at hiding How bad it always was I used always hum A tune inside my head It sounded like I was happy But that was a freaking lie I got sick I nearly died I got a new part In my heart An aortic valve I named Dave I used to be bitter All the freaking time I tried to hide it behind Constant cynicism But now I don't Feel like I'm going to Freaking snap All the damn time I got sick I nearly died I got a new part In my heart An aortic valve I named Dave So here's to Dave And all the things he's gave Saying yes to things Like in that one Jim Carey movie So here's to Dave And all the fun shit We've done together Because being alive is fucking rad I got sick I nearly died I got a new part In my heart An aortic valve I named Dave
5.
The Ballad of Duncan's Big Bell 03:28
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A long time ago When the earth was green, There was lots going on At the high school scene. One special day So I’ve heard tell, There was nary a sound From the old Duncan bell. And this is the story I’ll relate to you, About three teen-age boys With a plan that they grew. As a practical joke In their ultimate year They’d steal the bell They held oh so dear. Well, on that fine day They remained after school, Having earned a detention For playing the fool. When their penance was done They climbed up the stairs And into the attic Full of old papers and chairs. And out to the tower Overlooking the ground, Being so careful To make not a sound. Their smiles were broad And their eyes all a-glow As they thought of the joke They were about to bestow. They gathered some rags ‘Round the clapper they wrapped, Tied up with some string, Now their joke was well capped. They took a few pictures To record the event, Then tip toed down stairs And homeward they went. Next morning was bright In a glorious May, The three gathered at school For the surprise of the day. Mr. Cutforth came out With demeanor so stern, And pulled on the rope. Boy, did his face burn! As he tugged on the rope Three boys nearly died Of laughter and watched As the principal tried. Now, that is the truth That I wanted to tell, Of the time when no sound Came from Duncan’s big bell. Were you there at the time When silence rang out? Do you remember that time? Did you send up a shout? So who were those boys, Those musketeers three? Who plotted this deed? Well, one of them’s me. The other two lads I’ll not give them away. But I know their names To this very day.

about

The Song-Poem Store Volume 22 features songs about mimics, dirty palms, aortic valves, and big bells.

credits

released March 29, 2023

With songs by Chris Friesen, Baby G-Sass, Joel Kaminsky, and Barry Campbell!

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