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The Song​-​Poems of Joyce

by The Famous Sandhogs

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1.
Momma Likey 02:49
I got a man who loves his eggs. I open my mouth to his mayonnaise. He whips it out and eats it nightly Ohhh, Momma likey He gives me beaver fever dreams, I got botulism if you know what I mean. These canned bean baths are getting pricey. But ohhh, Momma likey Baby I love eating you cream corn. I'm addicted to internet food porn. He said I want to eat, very politely. And I said ohh, Momma likey He loves my sponge cake and my hams. My muffins, me melons, my jugs, my cans. Lefty loosey, righty tighty. Ohh, Momma likey.
2.
I would kill a pig for you I would cut off it's head for you I would cut it into pork chops because pork chops taste better with you Give me that pork chop to eat in bed I would make you prosciutto I would cook you country ribs You're my pork belly honey A smoked ham with bone in Give me that pork chop to eat bed I had a dream you faked your bacon One givin' it, one for the takin' I'm drinkin' up your bacon And there's more where that came from
3.
For all intensive purposes, Tommy is the best, Pacifically, I could care less of the rest. When Tommy's on the ice, he extracts revenge Irregardless of the others, who are probly French. Tommy never ever gets tooken for a ride, Spitting image of his mother in the prime of his life. So I said GO TOMMY GO SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET I'm expecially proud of my mom moment. When Tommy plays the boards, he's a fustrating player, Smarter than a libary and an even better skater. He bites his time and when the ref's not looking He homes on it, scotch-free, for a hooking. I'm proud my Tommy is a deaf-defying boy He'll live forever in this doggy dog world. So I said GO TOMMY GO SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET I'm expecially proud of my mom moment. I seen him excape one time on accident without a high-stick when he supposably did. The ref wouldn't know an expresso from a sammich, it's a mute point, ek cetra, they could have let him have it. The Westwood Warriors fell by the waist side in the feeble position, they lay down and they died. He could of, would of, should of shot the puck in the net, and Tommy did, that's why they're provincial champions. So I said GO TOMMY GO SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET I'm expecially proud of my mom moment.
4.
When I was sold by the government I nearly front-loaded my pants I'm a lonely front-end loader a piece of heavy equipment it was just another halloween and im not arrested yet got free candy and an atm down at the 7-11 at Main and Bannerman 2022 when I was sold by the government i really front-loaded my pants I'm a lonely front-end loader a piece of heavy equipment
5.
Hurray! I'm getting a nose job The doctors, they've had enough of my complaining and my nagging I can barely breathe, I'm so stuffed They sent me to see a specialist Now I'm at the top of their list The best part - the nose cost nothing 'cause it came free with new tits Woo! I'm getting a nose job! For 20 years, I lived with brain fog I'm anxious even when I sleep My boyfriend said I'm a snorer But I swore I made barely a peep To prove it, I filmed myself sleeping and then I heard how loud I'd been Good thing the nose'll help my breathing 'cause these tits'll need oxygen Woo! I'm getting a nose job! How can I describe the exhaustion? I sleep but don't sleep enough And when I wake, I'm like a zombie It feels like my brain is mush The ENT gave me a CPAP machine and told me don't sleep on your back But with a new nose, I'll sleep how I want: On my back with a double-D rack Woo! I'm getting a nose job! Hurray, I'm getting a nose job I'll soon feel a sense of relief I'll sleep and I won't snore at all anymore 'cause my new nose is turbinate-free I won't sound like I'm drowning in ground beef But if I do, it's just a bit A new nose, new tits, a new lease on life And my boyfriend paid for all of it! Woo! I'm getting a nose job!

about

Who is Joyce?

Joyce is all of us. Joyce is the abyss. Joyce stares back and back and back through the blackest eyes. And Joyce is all eyes. A beautiful monster.

- The Famous Sandhogs

credits

released May 6, 2023

Lyrics by Joyce

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all rights reserved

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