1. |
Momma Likey
02:49
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I got a man who loves his eggs.
I open my mouth to his mayonnaise.
He whips it out and eats it nightly
Ohhh, Momma likey
He gives me beaver fever dreams,
I got botulism if you know what I mean.
These canned bean baths are getting pricey.
But ohhh, Momma likey
Baby I love eating you cream corn.
I'm addicted to internet food porn.
He said I want to eat, very politely.
And I said ohh, Momma likey
He loves my sponge cake and my hams.
My muffins, me melons, my jugs, my cans.
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Ohh, Momma likey.
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2. |
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I would kill a pig for you
I would cut off it's head for you
I would cut it into pork chops
because pork chops taste better with you
Give me that pork chop to eat in bed
I would make you prosciutto
I would cook you country ribs
You're my pork belly honey
A smoked ham with bone in
Give me that pork chop to eat bed
I had a dream you faked your bacon
One givin' it, one for the takin'
I'm drinkin' up your bacon
And there's more where that came from
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3. |
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For all intensive purposes, Tommy is the best,
Pacifically, I could care less of the rest.
When Tommy's on the ice, he extracts revenge
Irregardless of the others, who are probly French.
Tommy never ever gets tooken for a ride,
Spitting image of his mother in the prime of his life.
So I said GO TOMMY GO
SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET
I'm expecially proud of my mom moment.
When Tommy plays the boards, he's a fustrating player,
Smarter than a libary and an even better skater.
He bites his time and when the ref's not looking
He homes on it, scotch-free, for a hooking.
I'm proud my Tommy is a deaf-defying boy
He'll live forever in this doggy dog world.
So I said GO TOMMY GO
SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET
I'm expecially proud of my mom moment.
I seen him excape one time on accident
without a high-stick when he supposably did.
The ref wouldn't know an expresso from a sammich,
it's a mute point, ek cetra, they could have let him have it.
The Westwood Warriors fell by the waist side
in the feeble position, they lay down and they died.
He could of, would of, should of shot the puck in the net,
and Tommy did, that's why they're provincial champions.
So I said GO TOMMY GO
SHOOT THE PUCK INTO THE NET
I'm expecially proud of my mom moment.
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4. |
Free Candy and an ATM
01:15
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When I was sold by the government
I nearly front-loaded my pants
I'm a lonely front-end loader
a piece of heavy equipment
it was just another halloween
and im not arrested yet
got free candy and an atm
down at the 7-11
at Main and Bannerman
2022
when I was sold by the government
i really front-loaded my pants
I'm a lonely front-end loader
a piece of heavy equipment
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5. |
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Hurray! I'm getting a nose job
The doctors, they've had enough
of my complaining and my nagging
I can barely breathe, I'm so stuffed
They sent me to see a specialist
Now I'm at the top of their list
The best part - the nose cost nothing
'cause it came free with new tits
Woo! I'm getting a nose job!
For 20 years, I lived with brain fog
I'm anxious even when I sleep
My boyfriend said I'm a snorer
But I swore I made barely a peep
To prove it, I filmed myself sleeping
and then I heard how loud I'd been
Good thing the nose'll help my breathing
'cause these tits'll need oxygen
Woo! I'm getting a nose job!
How can I describe the exhaustion?
I sleep but don't sleep enough
And when I wake, I'm like a zombie
It feels like my brain is mush
The ENT gave me a CPAP machine
and told me don't sleep on your back
But with a new nose, I'll sleep how I want:
On my back with a double-D rack
Woo! I'm getting a nose job!
Hurray, I'm getting a nose job
I'll soon feel a sense of relief
I'll sleep and I won't snore at all anymore
'cause my new nose is turbinate-free
I won't sound like I'm drowning in ground beef
But if I do, it's just a bit
A new nose, new tits, a new lease on life
And my boyfriend paid for all of it!
Woo! I'm getting a nose job!
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